


Mμ

by minium



Series: ATLA [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant if Canon was hella Gay, Episode: s03e05 The Beach, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, M/M, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 15:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21460564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minium/pseuds/minium
Summary: As the waves push and pull the tides,so too, does Ember Island beat against even the most ragged of edges.—So I ask of you…(how far can you be pushed before you break)?
Relationships: Azula & Mai & Ty Lee, Azula & Mai & Ty Lee & Zuko, Azula & Mai (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Ty Lee & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: ATLA [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548844
Comments: 13
Kudos: 41





	1. ACT I | Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> A retelling of The Beach where they don’t armchair psychoanalyze each other randomly. Outlined to be from 42K to 50K.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Dear reader, I do so hope you enjoy the tale that unfolds.
> 
> What **questions** will you ask, I wonder?
> 
> And what **answers** await?  


Gripping the bow of the ship— forever, without bounds— endlessly, blue stretched out. As far as could be seen— there was no escaping it. 

A sight once intimately familiar had become strange in no time at all. 

And still, _why was he here?_

“What’s with the long face?” Ty Lee’s voice grated. A period in which he had said nothing at all, and still, she persisted. “_Zuko_,” his grip tightened at the call, “we’re supposed to be on vacation! Why are you standing here all alone?” 

Turning his head to witness her freely smiling face, irritation rose fully. The coarseness of the emotion rankled, insistently tugging, calling him to release, to just _let go_— almost, almost, almost— _he almost_— the rushing wave cut off its course abruptly. 

Zuko sighted a nearing figure. Ty Lee tilted her head to the side, confusion in the face of his silence. Zuko only sighed, slumping his shoulders, turning away. 

A calm voice broke Ty Lee’s annoyingly intent attention. “Ty Lee, Azula’s calling for you.” 

“Oh! Where is she?” 

“Last I saw her, she was in her rooms.” 

And in the blink of an eye, Ty Lee departed, attention shifting akin to the mercurial nature of the winds, and Mai took residence of a space departed. 

“Why was my sister calling?” 

“She wasn’t. You just seemed like you needed saving.” The slightest tease lilt Mai’s usual deadpan. 

He turned fully into her, the side of his mouth quirking upwards in thanks. 

She didn’t ask. He didn’t offer. They turned as one to regard the deepening blue stretching out before them. Companionable silence. Zuko’s spine unbent, more and more, moment by moment, the tightness residing in the center of his chest dissipating. 

The waves receded. 

With the clasp closed, she slowly moved her hands down, tracing the length of a shining, golden necklace, smoothing it neatly into place. Clutching the ruby inlay firmly into her palm, she regarded the completed picture before her. 

Not a single hair out of place. 

_Perfect._

The sounds of someone creaking her door open darted into her ears. She shifted her eyes away from her reflection to where Ty Lee closed the door behind her. 

Their eyes met through the mirror. 

“Azula!” Ty Lee stood hand over mouth, the call of the princess’ name unplanned. 

She didn’t move and the impatience in the turn of the princess’ head was only too clear. And then dropping her hands at the prod, the non-bender made her way to the fire princess’ side. 

Arms wound their way around her neck, enclosing her in a warm embrace. The action so swift, she could barely process— speech delayed her reaction further— “You look so pretty! I mean you always look super pretty, but _today_—” 

Red threatened to rise above her neck. With her eyes averted, she answered, voice measured, “Thank you, Ty Lee.” 

Interrupting them was the resounding clearing of a throat. Glancing behind them, they met with the nervous fidgeting of one of the crew. Azula narrowed her eyes. When had he— and how had she not— _noticed_? 

“Please excuse the interruption, Your Highness. I am pleased to announce that we’ll be arriving shortly.” The messenger bowed once stiffly and then left as quickly as he had come. 

Ty Lee stepped away slowly, warmth receding with her. 

Closing the door behind her, Azula squinted through the sudden brightness the shift from the darkness, of the cabin, to the light outside incurred. But before she could raise her hand to cast a shadow, the island revealed itself to her all at once. The suddenness of the bountiful green before her was shocking. The wind lightly swayed against her, caressing her unusually loose hair. 

Something inexplicable rattled in its hold, shedding the dust, it burned within. 

“What terrible manners. Honestly, who is hiring these incompetent crews?” 

Zuko glanced away from the incensed profile of his sister to nudge Mai. “Are you looking forward to arriving?” 

She pursed her lips, before responding, “Are _you_?” 

Zuko paused. “No.” 

Mai glanced at him for a long second before looking away. “No.” 

Far too soon, the boat slowed and soon stopped entirely. 

Distraction shifted her attentions. At the tugging on her arms, she turned her head to witness Ty Lee’s excited expression. Mai and Zuko bickered behind her. The shine in the non-bender’s eyes— _it was so_— she looked away quickly. Shaking off the nameless sensation that had briefly taken a hold, Azula tossed her long, dark hair behind her shoulders. 

She led, and everyone followed behind. 

At the end of the dock, Lo and Li stood waiting. The walk over was quick. <del>Too quick. Everything was happening entirely too quickly</del>. 

“Welcome to Ember Island,” the twins proclaimed as one. 

Ember Island. _Ember Island._ With nothing to do other than take in the surroundings, what else could she do? A view so nostalgic, it was almost unfamiliar. No noticeable differences struck, even the dock had remained the same. They made their way past beaches, roads, houses, and still, the same, the same, the _same_. 

_Welcome back to_— 

Everything the same. Nothing changed. Akin to a spun spell, disorientation came, insistent, _restless_. Why was it all _still_— 

Never returned. Nothing here would ever be returned to her. Never. _Never_ again. 

Only the towering experiences gained through the years kept her anchored— different, different, she was different— _everything was different now_— kept her from fading into memories of a time long-forgotten and now hopelessly unfamiliar. 

“Come inside and rest. You must all be exhausted after that long journey.” 

_Ah._ They had already— her steps halted, stopping moments before she would have crossed the threshold. It was the same. The door she faced was still the same. 

“Azula?” Ty Lee questioned, confusion crinkling the line of her forehead. 

She didn’t have any words to say. 

_For why— _

_Why was she still like this?_

“Well, come on! The sooner we unpack and rest, the sooner we can start exploring tomorrow.” The non-bender smiled at her, holding out a hand, her face free of anything besides sincerity. 

Azula rubbed at her arms, chasing away a chill she knew only she could feel, before nodding once decisively— squaring her shoulders, squaring it all— _away_. 

“Great!” exclaimed Ty Lee brightly, but the hands she took Azula’s in were halting, slow in their movements. She squeezed once, her eyes crinkling. 

Ty Lee turned suddenly, and Azula followed that swinging ponytail into what beckoned. 

_Her hands were warm. Away, away, Ty Lee led her away._

The moon reigned high in the sky, and for once, she couldn’t look away. Sounding loud overhead was something long-forgotten. Singing their tune for her once more were those winged creatures, the ones who used to greet her homecomings during those warm, overpoweringly _bright_ summers. 

Again— this _song_. 

Again— this _feeling_. 

Azula only sunk her feet further into the cool sand, listening quietly. 

The soft breeze ruffled by her, but she wasn’t cold. All of her senses lulled— into the— into what was _abandoned_. 

This feeling that thrummed through her veins— she didn’t have a name for. This _gaping_ absence— _it called to her._ And, for some reason, she wanted to answer. But she didn’t know. She didn’t know what it was calling for her to _do_. 

Questioningly, she glanced up. No answers found; her cries quieted their last; call unheard. 

Softly clicking the door closed, he stood still for a moment. 

For a moment, only but one mere moment, he— let _go_. 

Shutting his eyes, all was darkness. His shoulders slumped, tense muscles uncoiling their tension. For a moment, all was quiet. Nothing to be done. Nothing to be said. 

He let out a breath and no recriminations came. He let out a breath and he could simply _breathe_. 

For a moment, he let himself be. 

_But a moment was just a moment. _

And this wasn’t— _peace_ wasn’t meant for him. He was Zuko, the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and stolen moments were all he had. 

Kh aqw uvqr vjkpmkpi, aqw nqug vjg icog.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Update: 11/26/19


	2. ACT I | Lost and Confused

Every day. Every night before he slept. Every day before he rose.

These thoughts— <del>they wouldn’t leave him alone</del>. Like poison, they infested his mind, clung to him.

Freedom slipped away. Lost. Lost. Why was he— _so lost?_

A silent scream.

_Why couldn’t he_—

“To the beach!” Ty Lee pumped an eager fist.

Zuko glanced to the side and seeing the small smile tugging Mai’s mouth, frowned. It was all so… _normal_. So recently they had been fighting for the sake of their homeland, and now everyone around him was acting like nothing had taken place at all.

Like nothing had even happened at all.

Was it a fever dream? Those years?

Out on his own.

Alone.

<del>Only his uncle—</del>

_Alone_.

Ty Lee charged on ahead. Mai turned an amused smirk his way, but her expression quickly fell away. She searched his face and he avoided her eyes. She opened her mouth. He shook his head once, urgently so. And before Mai could react further, Ty Lee dragged her away.

Zuko watched on; watched the ease in all their shoulders. How could they? When they had _just_—

Inhale. _A vacation._

Exhale. _This was a vacation._

Yet. Yet. _Yet_—

Such things… they had faded from his mind, becoming as distant as the stars. He knew. He knew that once, truthfully not so long ago, he and Ty Lee had been one and the same, racing to where houses ended and open ocean awaited, play firmly in the forefront. Zuko tried to grasp onto that boy that had once existed, but mere ashes greeted searching palms. Nowhere to be seen was the boy he had once been.

Was it him? Only him?

The gentle swaying of the waves washed over-foot. The sensation was enough to focus his gaze, and he was wrenched, almost violently, back.

Oh.

He was _here_.

Once more, he faced the same horizon.

Searching for the ones who had been with him just moments ago, he was met with the quiet lapping of the shores, and the cries of the birds overhead; nobody was around for as far as could be seen. Before he had noticed, he had been left adrift.

Bereft, the ocean opened up a beckoning embrace, but he hadn’t taken a single step to meet it. Feet stuck in the sand, he stood frozen where he stood, the burning in his chest the only thing he was aware.

He didn’t know how long he stood there, simply staring into the sea. But familiar cries of his name reached his ears eventually. And he—

—dived into the water without a thought. The embrace swirling at all corners was a cold comfort. He dived further, further down. Zuko didn’t know how deeply he had gone. It didn’t matter. It just didn’t _matter_ anymore. He reached out his arms and _fell_.

For a moment, there was peace. And then— it was _anything_ but. Unwillingly, he gasped out— a breath— and streaming in, everything was… water. All he could see, all he could taste— rushing down his throat, burning was all he knew.

Flashes of events long past battered past him. He saw— his memories so fantastical— fear so visceral— _Zuko remembered blue_. The first time he had ever contemplated turning his back on everything, on everyone— it was blue.

It was cold.

It was so cold.

He trudged on, limply dragging with him what he thought was his only salvation and what had it gained him in the end? Failure. Failure was all he had ever tasted.

Oh, how— how had he ended up here?

Blue flooded his vision; the current couldn’t be stopped, and Zuko fell under.

“Where is everyone? It’s like a ghost town… a ghost beach?” Ty Lee tilted her head in confusion.

“You would think with how disgusting it is, everyone would be here.” Mai idly fanned her face, staring ahead at the empty sands with a frown.

Azula raised a brow. “All the better for us, then. Frankly, I don’t know why we decided to go to a public beach in the first place.”

She turned from Mai to address Ty Lee at her other side and found empty the space where she had expected a friend. She whirled around to see Ty Lee twisting her head to and fro, chewing at her lip.

“Zuko isn’t with us!” Distress painted Ty Lee’s face.

She was right; Azula didn’t recognize her brother’s brooding presence anywhere. But the princess merely shrugged in response. “Perhaps he wanted some time alone? You know how he is.” She waved her hand dismissively.

But to her surprise, the non-bender’s expression grew stubborn. “I’ll go find him!” Ty Lee shouted over her shoulder. She was gone before anybody could stop her, figure swallowed by the sand; disappeared into the distance.

“Ty Lee! Get back here now!”

“Don’t bother. Just let her do what she wants.” Mai’s arm blocked her forward stride.

Azula let out an aggravated huff before turning her back, crossing her arms. She knew her shouts were futile. She knew _why_ Ty Lee had chased after Zuko after all; yet, for some reason, she had called out to a back departed before she could silence herself. The shout coming out unprovoked, unwanted, but impossible to swallow back.

“Yay~ to the beach.”

The fire princess stared at her friend through narrowed eyes, but Mai matched her evenly, stare for stare.

Like this, a second passed, and then another. Mai sighed in exasperation. “Come on.”

Stirrings of anger surfacing, she could feel her reason clouding, so Azula swallowed it down. “And where exactly are you proposing we go?”

_What was happening?_ How had it all gone— out of her _control_— so quickly? Everyone had been— right behind her.

Answering annoyance surfaced on the non-bender’s face. “Just come with me.”

And for whatever reason, Azula did— albeit haltingly so, an all too familiar bitter taste rose in the back of her throat as she did.

Cold. It was the first sensation to manifest. Warmth prickled at his lids, and he scrunched his eyes at the intrusion. Sound, uniform at first, blared sudden and _loud_, demanding attention.

Fluttering his eyes, he slowly regained sight; piece by piece, the world returned.

Sunlight shined brightly. Figure slightly hunched, Ty Lee stared into the distance above him, her face upturned to meet the radiant rays. Zuko blinked away the last of the moisture clouding his vision.

Questions erupted. He sat up in a hurry.

Leaning out of his space, watching him take gulping almost choking, breaths— “Welcome back! Had a nice nap?” She smiled. Her long hair hung loose, darkened by the liquid limply weighing it down; yet, by the blazing sun held in thrall behind her, it burned amber. The rays of light, still too bright for his currently sensitive eyes, blocked the full view of her face, but Ty Lee’s dazzling smile was only too clear.

The fire prince gaped, wrong-footed and overwrought.

Ty Lee lowered the ice cream in favor of scrutinizing him. It was the most intense, unwavering stare he’d ever seen from her; he’d be lying if he said it didn’t unnerve him.

“What?” But Zuko just couldn’t help— running down his spine, he was— she had— instinctive irritation rose as it always did.

“It’s… it’s nothing.”

Clenching his teeth, “..._What_,” he ground out. Why, why, _why_ was he even indulging her?

“It’s you.”

“It’s me.” He parroted back at her, tone revealing his annoyance.

But she wasn’t deterred. Whether that made her brave or a fool, he couldn’t decide. “You’ve changed, Zuko. Your aura… it never used to look like this. All grey and murky. It’s like— it used to be—”

“I don’t have time for your nonsense, Ty Lee.”

“It’s not _nonsense_.”

“‘Could’ve fooled me.” Thoroughly sick of this conversation, he turned to leave—

“I know you, Zuko. _Clearly_ something—”

—and halted in his tracks, whirling around. “You _don’t_ know me.” He practically snarled out the words, throwing them back into her face.

The non-bender’s gaze drooped, eyes averted; her words were ever so quiet, but he still heard. _“I do know you.”_

“What did you say?” He couldn’t believe his ears.

“Zuko, I—”

Don’t. Don’t act like you know anything about—_ don’t act like you care._

Contempt boiling over, fierce expression unable to be held back. “Oh, I’m Ty Lee and I’m perfect and everyone loves me.”

“That’s not—”

Why was she_ still_— trying his last nerve. The prince wanted to scream, yell, let out the full of his frustration. “Newsflash.” Zuko faced her, words coming up like an unstoppable flood. “They don’t. People don’t respect you. You’re just an annoying tagalong no one wanted.”

The first hint he might’ve gone too far was found in the silence that trailed. He couldn’t even see her face, it was bowed so low.

The second hint was the lone tear that trailed down her cheek, and then the next, and the next, until her frame wracked with the force of it. But still, she kept her silence.

Zuko reached out a hand, but before he could cross the distance between them, she was gone, and that was a hint unignorable.

Together, aimlessly, they wandered the sands. Azula had nothing to say and Mai never said anything in the first place. Like this, the quiet between them held.

Spotting something other than the endless sand, Azula uncrossed her arms. Casually resting, most likely abandoned by some child, was a sandcastle. It was built out of reach from the tides; yet considering its state, it must still have been newly-built.

The princess strolled over, stopping right in front of the sad sight. Crouching down, she peered into the imagined grounds.

Azula paused.

It looked… _familiar_.

A structure she knew only too well faced her. It was as if the gods themselves were mocking her. She hadn’t, hadn’t expected _this_— before awareness dawned, the construction had been reverted to a pile of nothing once more.

She blinked once; she blinked twice. The sprawling palace before her was no more (and she was the cause). The cooling balm of the sand sifted over her hands as she drew them back— only— a pair of hands stopped their retreat. Azula curled her fingers, trying to find purchase, but the unstable grains fell away, out of her reach.

She stilled.

Mai’s hands left hers.

Upwards, with a twist to her mouth, she lifted her gaze. Her friend wasn’t even looking at her. Busily, her hands moved, sculpting, moving— intently, she rebuilt what had been collapsed.

The princess couldn’t stop her huff of derision.

“We used to do this together.”

It was unexpected that Mai was the one to break the silence, but still, the princess had nothing to say, no interest in this line of conversation.

“Tom-Tom was too young, but he always was so delighted watching us, clapping away happily. It’s been a long time.”

So what? What did this have to do with her? Mai could do anything she wanted. Azula wasn’t interested. “Are you missing your infant brother so much that this dalliance is appealing to you?”

A simple, “Yes,” was all the non-bender responded with.

Azula turned away.

Even through the not yet faded pale blue of the skies, the moon glowed brightly. Azula could clearly see its position on the horizon. That moon— it sat so proudly on its perch. It seemed _so_ close as if— if she could _just_ reach out her hand— maybe, possibly— it could all be within her grasp.

For once. _For once_.

That ever escaping horizon belonged to her. _Yet_, it was like— it was unable to be seized. Not her. Not her. Not _her_.

Why—

was it—

never _her?_

Raising her head slightly, the faint sounds of chatter reached her ears. Puzzled, she met Mai’s eyes to see the same emotion, albeit edged with her customary annoyance, reflected back at her.

“Great, and I was finally starting to enjoy the peace and quiet.”

“How strange.”

They quieted, mutual curiosity quickening their pace.

A sight they had expected from the start spread out before them. Yet. All of a sudden, such a sight… had become _odd_. Why had everyone decided to stream in _now_?

“Is that Ty Lee?”

What. “What?” She exclaimed, and then asked, brusque, “Where?”

The non-bender simply pointed to a lounged figure. Ty Lee was surrounded by people— specifically, a crowd of fawning boys.

“Typical.”

Crossing her arms, Azula narrowed her eyes.

“Now, all we’re missing is Zuko. Where _is_ he?”

“I wouldn’t worry about him. More importantly, shall we scold our friend for abandoning us so eagerly?”

No response.

Finally turning her gaze, she faced Mai.

Mai only shrugged.

Well, it wasn’t as if she was counting on Mai being much help in the first place. She sighed.

The princess was too refined to do something as base as snorting, but if such etiquette lessons hadn’t been endlessly drilled into her, that’s exactly what she would have done at the pathetic sight before her.

“Well, isn’t this nice,” she drawled. No one turned her way. For the first time in her life, her words were ignored, the crowd in front of her too busy, slobbering the forefront of their scant thoughts.

But before ire could well and truly rise up, a familiar voice called her name— “Azula?”

“Naturally, who else?”

“Guys. _Guys_, move aside.” And at Ty Lee’s prodding, the sea parted before her.

“Yes. Could you fleas scatter into the wind?” Stupified stares met the princess’ request. She grit her teeth.

“As nice as all of you are, could you guys give my friend and me some space?” Of course, at the slightest mention of her wants, they hurried to comply.

_Ridiculous._

Looking up at her, Ty Lee smiled, “I was looking for you! But it seems like you found me instead,” and laughed. “Come and lie down with me. The sun feels _so_ nice!”

The princess uncrossed her arms, nameless anger unable to keep.

Detecting the heat receding from her face, she slowly creaked open shut eyes. With the way Azula’s head was leaned back, darkened skies directly met her gaze. She frowned.

This wasn’t planned.

A drop of moisture fell upon her forehead. Azula wiped it away.

This wasn’t predicted.

And as if to mock her, the skies swiftly and forcibly opened up. Rain pelted her lounged figure as she stared in consternation.

A shriek drew her attention. Turning her head, she saw the drenched figure of her friend.

The thin, _white_ material clung to Ty Lee’s figure and she didn’t even appear to notice, her focus firmly on her sopping, _dripping_ hair, desperately trying to wring out moisture that had begun to suffuse.

“Oh no, no no, I spent so much time on this!”

Droplets from the rain gathered into the hollows of her collarbones, but with Ty Lee’s frenzied movement, they quickly raced out of the enclosure, tracing a path down, down, _down_.

“You’re soaked!”

Azula blinked. For the first time, she noticed the chill spreading through her limbs. “I suppose I am.” The words she spoke were her own; yet strangely, they felt distant; she felt distant, as if she was watching the scene from above in.

“Come on!” Ty Lee tugged at her arm. “If you stay like that, you could get sick! We need to get you out of this rain.”

Blinking the moisture out of his eyes, he withdrew, ducking his head back inside. “It doesn’t look like it’s going to let up any time soon.”

“Better stay warm. We don’t want you kids gaining a cold on our watch. Come and enjoy the tea.” One of the twins, Zuko wasn’t sure which one held out a cup of steaming liquid his way. His lips twisted. Not wanting to appear ungrateful, he accepted the gesture and joined them at the low table.

Mai’s gaze was stuck on the view outside; the emotion present on her face wasn't one Zuko knew how to parse.

“Once this island starts to rage, it won’t stop for days.” The prince turned his attention back to the hosts, concerned.

“Don’t scare the tourists, Li.” Lo turned to them. “I apologize for my sister. No need to worry. It isn’t the right season for that kind of weather. It’ll stop soon.”

“It doesn’t look like a small storm. Out there it was like…” Mai trailed off, her gaze turning contemplative.

Steam billowed into his face, and he glanced down, staring into the dark depths of his tea, missing, missing, always somehow _missing_— he set his cup down with a loud clang. Attention turned his way, and Zuko looked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a little delayed because of American Thanksgiving!
> 
> <strike>Next Update: 12/10/19</strike>  
*Just watched PROMARE. Can’t focus on anything else.
> 
> Next Update: 12/17/19 - 12/24/19


	3. ACT I | Diwali

Liwxap pauv,  
Liwxap call.

She grasped the towel Li handed to her quickly, all too ready to stem the flood of water soaking down her back. Azula rinsed out as much moisture as she could before wrapping her hair in disgust.

What a _disappointment_ this ‘vacation’ was turning out to be.

The scent of ginger reached her; Ty Lee stood before her, a steaming cup held in her hands. The princess extended hers and the non-bender handed her the offering with a half-smile.

“At least the bad weather stopped, and you have a warm bath to look forward to!”

Curiously, she searched Ty Lee’s face. Even with her ever-present optimism, there was definitely something more adding that annoying spring to her step. “I suppose so,” she murmured, still eyeing her friend, before taking a small, testing sip. Effect immediate, ease that had been missing since the clouds gathered, came back to her— she breathed out slowly, warmth gathering, the tension in her shoulders loosening.

Flickering her gaze to her companion once more, the energy surrounding her somehow had grown with more insistence. She pursed her lips for a moment in thought— was it even worth the inquiry? She shut her eyes before finally asking with some reluctance, “What’s with you?”

Ty Lee visibly twitched, expression tightening.

Azula set down her cup.

Ty Lee wet her lips, and waiting for the answer, Azula leaned in. For a moment, together, they stood suspended.

_The moment flew by._

Ty Lee shut her mouth.

Azula drank a mouthful of rapidly cooling tea.

_And neither one reached for it._

“Diwali.”

The non-bender’s sudden outburst surprised everyone. From where she lounged, Mai languidly turned her head with brow arched. But it was only Zuko who asked the question resting on the tip of everyone’s tongues, “Excuse you?”

“No, silly! The Festival of Lights. Apparently, it’s a yearly tradition on this island.”

Zuko made a face. “Why do you even know that?”

What a pointless question. Why wouldn’t she when she had been busy cavorting with half the island?

“Lo and Li are _very_ excited about it. That’s why they left so early this morning. They were helping with the setup. Doesn’t it sound so interesting? We should go! We can go, right?” Ty Lee turned Azula’s way.

She stared into pleading eyes, head leaning further into her palm, before sighing with a small shake of her head. “If you want to go, _go_. Spirits know you don’t have to ask for _my_ permission.”

“But I want everyone to go with me. It’s no fun by myself.”

_Of course._ Crossing her arms, she looked away. “Why don’t you ask one of your _boyfriends_ to accompany you? I’m sure they’d positively _jump_ at the opportunity.”

“Azula.”

She didn’t turn.

“_Azula._”

She tightened her grip.

And was promptly wrenched around.

Shocked, all she could do was stare. How _dare_—

Ty Lee’s expression froze completely, figure stilling with hands still outstretched. Yet, a flash of something— narrowed her eyes, and she moved closer. Beseechingly, she continued_, _“I don’t want to go with them. I want to go with _you_.”

How was Ty Lee always able to say the most embarrassing things so easily?

“... I mean all of you. It won’t be worth it unless we_ all_ go. What’s the point of a vacation if we don’t spend it together?”

“A festival, huh?” Mai’s voice snatched her attention. _Right. _Uncrossing her arms, Azula turned to regard the rest of the group, shaking off the hands that had reached out and _almost_—

Ty Lee didn’t let up her pleading. With a hand resting on her hip, she smiled triumphantly as if she already knew the outcome. “Well, you guys will go. Won’t you?”

Twin shrugs answered her question, which, apparently, counted as agreement to the non-bender because Ty Lee promptly rushed out of the room with shrieks of sudden unpreparedness.

Azula couldn’t help feeling a little impressed despite herself.

Placing the holder deep into its nook, Zuko pinched the wick between his fingers, deftly lighting the flame. Warmth fanned his face, a circle of light haloing around him, painting his surroundings into a softer hue, and he smiled briefly before turning to the others.

It was only after he had twenty swaying flames dotted around him that he heard the faint stirrings of hushed conversation. Straining his ear, he could hear at least two distinct voices whispering to each other. Glancing at the stack of still unlit candles, and then towards where he sensed the noise— truthfully, his decision had been made before he had even turned his head.

Hugging close to the cool comfort held in the walls of the darkened hall, he crept closer and closer until noise, once uniform, turned into words.

“Do you think he would?”

“I wouldn’t put it past the man. He would use any opportunity to push his agenda. We’ll certainly have to weather more of his nonsense.”

“Don’t have his supporters catch you speaking that way.”

“What is he going to do? Wage a public feud with a batty old lady? I’d like to see him try!”

Chatter melted into warm laughter, and Zuko couldn’t help himself from peeking into what he could see now was a parlour. Lo and Li were, sitting in a circle of cushioned chairs, with another woman he had never seen before. But he could tell the scene before him wasn’t an unfamiliar one.

He went back to his chore before he could be spotted, but the conversation he had witnessed kept creeping back into his thoughts.

Flowing, threatening to explode out of him, heat lashed out, flaying his nerves. He scrunched his lids tightly shut, clenching his teeth together. He couldn’t. He couldn’t— nothing lost would be returned.

Strolling down the halls of his home shouldn’t have felt so unfamiliar, so distant to him. This self— even _h_e didn’t understand. When had it— why had it— all gone— so _wrong_. When had everyone around him twisted into imitations that he didn’t recognize?

Was it them that had changed?

Or was it— _him_?

Tracing that joyful expression, he couldn’t help but recall another time, a better time. It had been right here his mother had taken his hands in her own and read to him in her melodic voice. The countless times he had awoken to the realization that she had carried him to his rooms, gently tucking him in, after he had fallen asleep to the soothing lullaby of her words.

It used to be— everything was— simple, clear, easy— it was—

_love_.

And now—

And he—

“I thought I’d find you here.”

His shoulders tensed; his hands stilled.

And they—

Azula audibly sighed behind him, and approached, her steps loud in the quiet din of desolate halls.

On his shoulder, a hesitant touch. He never knew his sister to falter in anything before. Surprise loosened the tautness in his frame.

“Zuzu.” Azula’s voice was hushed.

He didn’t reply; gaze resolutely stuck on the paintings taunting a past that could never be recovered.

_What was left of them anyway?_

“Chasing ghosts?” He didn’t lift his head at the question, not even through his surprise at her unfiltered tone (he had never heard her voice sound like _his_).

With a bitter laugh, he answered, “Can you believe we used to be happy here, once?”

“That was a long time ago.” Somehow, she didn’t sound bitter. Was it only him that was the fool?

“You say that, but was it really? It all feels like a dream now.” He couldn’t be alone in this feeling like crunched glass under his soles, stabbing, bleeding him dry painfully slowly through shallow cuts— through _words he couldn’t say anymore._

She didn’t have an answer for him, and he wasn’t expecting one.

Zuko finally unclenched his eyes, turning to her and her closed-off expression.

“Come on, this place is depressing. Everyone’s waiting for you, so let’s _go_.”

He had expected the brush off, but it still shook something in his chest. He had expected it, but he didn’t, couldn’t have prepared for the way it felt.

Zuko didn’t have an excuse for the way his feet felt glued to the floor. He was always the fool, wasn’t he? Always the last one left believing in impossible, breakable things they weren’t allowed.

“There’s no point in what you’re doing.” He knew. He knew. _Oh Agni,_ how crushingly he knew that there wasn’t any point in any of this.

But still, he protested in a futile, furtive voice (that he had never tried to share), “They say we can learn the world from the past.”

“And what precisely would standing here in the dark in _this place_ gain you?” He heard the words she didn’t say: _‘And when precisely, would you learn better than this?’_ Zuko didn’t know if it was mercy or cruelty that they never passed her lips.

“I don’t know. Maybe—” Always chasing that _maybe_, that horizon that _he knew_ was nothing but illusion.

“There’s no point wasting time on a _maybe_.”

He knew all too well.

“Just come back with me.”

With a deep sigh breathing itself all the way down to the bottom of his spine— a rattling request to stay standing— he thinned his lips. “Fine, but let me do just one thing before we go.”

There was just one thing to _do_.

Dust to dust, ashes to ashes, the lies burned behind them and Zuko didn’t look back.

(He couldn’t).

Just stepping through, witnessing the spectacle outside their doors, it was more than apparent that the festival had well and truly begun. She could see her companions stalled in awe in a similar manner to her.

Thankfully, they were standing under the cool cover of a midnight canopy, the immense heat of the flames gave off would have raised the temperature from dizzying to sweltering otherwise. Still, that didn’t stop the lightheaded sensation rushing through her head. Awe shook the curl of her fingers, thrumming through her veins.

Singing the same song.

_There were so many flames._

If only, if only, she could hum along.

Every available surface, in every direction, as far as the eye could see, there was fire. Ember Island. It was clear where the name came from; this truly was the city of _light_.

The closer they came to the island center, the higher the fires grew; some even rose to be thrice the height of their party, and still, there were some that rose higher still.

It was _magnificent._

Lhiwrevev qf xhe nqqp,  
cqne.  
Apd wrvead sqyv hazqc.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s ACT I! Don’t expect ACT II to start posting until these first three chapters are updated and edited... so Chapter 4 will come along in a month or so.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me at:  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/o_minium)  
[Tumblr](https://o-minium.tumblr.com/)  
@.@


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